Reflecting on my teens

On the 28th of December 2017 I said goodbye to my teens and hello to my twenties, and if I’m honest, I’ve felt very mixed feelings about it. Although I’m more than happy to see the back of some of the hardest years, the next 10 years are the big unknown, the only part of life so far that have not been so set in stone. And to me, that is extremely daunting.

When I turned 13 (not that I can really remember) the future was predictable, I knew, apart from the huge influx of hormones and emotions, what the next 7 years had in store for me. I would be at school, make some friends, maybe loose a few along the way, do my GCSES, go to prom, then do my A-Levels (obviously do really, really well), go to parties, maybe get a boyfriend or two, then leave the small town I hated so much to go to university. Back at the start of my teens everything was so simple and easy, the future was so set in stone and now this next 10 years is the complete opposite. I don’t even know what I’ll be doing in a years time, let alone 5 or 10 and that’s the first time that’s ever happened in my whole life.

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 Outfit Details

Jumper // Marks & Spencer *

Jeans // Topshop

Trainers // Converse

Baker boy hat // Topshop

Earrings // ASOS

Photography // Olivia Bush

*Similar

Although there was a lot of comfort in my teens and my world being no more than what happened between 8:40am and 3pm inside of school, I wouldn’t say they’ve been everything I thought they would be or what society told me they would be. Instead of drinking, going out every weekend, rebelling, I became the complete opposite whilst pretending I was that girl at the same time on social media to keep up. What I thought were meant to be the best years of my life, the ones I was meant to look back on, were suddenly becoming the ones I wanted to skip past and forget due the anxiety. I longed so badly to live as the teenager I wanted to be and they girl I portrayed on Instagram but anxiety held me back and kept me saying ‘no’.

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I guess that’s why I feel quite torn up about turning 20, that I will never get the ‘best years of my life’ back and although according to teenage norms I wasted these years, I didn’t drink and go on multiple nights out and do anything crazy rebellious, it would be wrong of me to just brand my teens as rubbish and look past all the brilliance that the last 7 years brought me. Accidentally, or maybe down to fate, a boy came into my life at just the right time and became the best friend and boyfriend I could have ever dreamed of. *Cringe* I made friends that brought me so much happiness, from those who I met in maths class to those who I know will be my best friends for life. I may not be entering my twenties with the same people I entered into my teens with but that doesn’t take away from the positive impact they have had on the last 7 years of my life. I also cannot forget all that I have achieved, from passing my exams, to getting accepted onto the first Women at Dior programme and getting my first grown-up job, to name a few.

Although the future is scary and I don’t know what the next 10 years have in store for me, I do of course have a few hopes and dreams. I hope that I will stop caring so much about what others (and my Instagram followers) think, I hope to find myself a career that makes me excited to get out of bed in the morning. I hope that anxiety will be a thing of the past and I can appreciate everything good around me and not just see the bad. I hope I will see more of the world, and I will have my own place that I can call home. I hope that my Pinterest boards will one day become a reality and I will own the coffee table I have been dreaming of since I was 16. (Honestly it’s beautiful!)

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I started my first blog, High Street Spy, at the start of my teens when the blogging world was so much different and my dream was to become a writer and to somehow make something of my blog. And although I know full well that I am not destined for that, I hope I find myself and happiness in writing again. I feel like I’ve come full circle, writing again at the start of the next stage of my life and finding a little bit of comfort on my little corner of the internet.

Until next time,

Maisie x

10 Comments

  1. pollyrockbergerartist

    Maisee I’m sending you a personal reply not intended for posting. I was really moved by your post – it’s so honest. Please let me reassure you about the next phase. From what you say you have overcome some uncertainties and doubts – very normal ones – to do everything you’ve done thus far; its clear that you have lots of strength and creativity to build on, and I’m sure there will be loads of interesting things ahead. I don’t often meet young people with so much joy and passion for their subject and I take my hat off to you. Please don’t put limits on what you think you can achieve – as a career person, in your writing, and generally in your life. Being self-aware can be painful, but it’s a great help if you put it to good use in the choices you make. Don’t have regrets – you seem to have navigated your path very thoughtfully and with a real sense of what’s right for you. Not being quite the same as the media construct we all put out there is not unusual and it’s not a character flaw. After all, if our aim is to share the joy in art, fashion, – or anything!- to inspire others and to make a successful impact, we all try to reflect our best self and if there’s an element of constructing a persona, well, as long as you know who you are, and love yourself for it, you’ll be just fine. Bon courage my young friend! Keep on just as you are. Happy birthday and warm wishes for your happiness and success. Keep on blogging! Polly xx

    https://www.pollyrockberger.com https://www.facebook.com/pollyrockbergerartist

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  2. Polly

    What a smashing post Maisee – moving, thoughtful and full of life. Wishing you a belated Happy Birthday and looking forward to more of your lively and interesting posts. Seems to me you have all the gifts of strength and creativity you’ need for the next phase – good luck, and have fun!

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  3. PeculiarPorter

    I love this post Maisie! You’re 100% right about everything being planned out in your teenage years and entering the “adult years” its a strange thing because things aren’t really planned out anymore. You can achieve anything in these upcoming years if you put your mind to it! Happy belated birthday.

    xo Logan
    https://peculiarporter.com

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  4. Appy Rony

    Congrats firstly😁and this post is truly relatable! Sometimes i wish the teen life should never end and sometimes i want some bad and dark patches to be skipped from the past phase.

    Like

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