Although in all honesty the last 2 years at times have included the worst and hardest times of my life, but now it’s over part of me wants to reverse time just so I can have a little longer with the best group of friends I have ever had in my life. Now our time together, where we got to see each other almost everyday, is over, and everyone goes off to live their next adventures and I’m heartbroken. 2 years in sixth form at the start seemed a long time but it wasn’t enough time to share each day with my best friends.
I’ve always had friends, some of them in this group now, but this group I’ve only had together for only 2 years and for some reason this one feels so different. I guess you don’t really know what you have until it’s gone, in this place going, and I’ve never realised how much each one of them meant to me until now.
Some of us came together as friends over 10 years ago going from lower, to middle and then high school together, we’ve grown from young children who played games about witches and vets to young women who swear and get boyfriends and are aiming for real life adult jobs now! Now even those 10 years seem to have flown, I remember vividly those games and giggles like they weren’t that long ago. 2 years is even shorter for the rest of my friends in comparison and way too short at that. Although we all have our different interests and personalities, we just came together sometime in the first few weeks of sixth form and we’ve stuck, adding new friends through relationships and new friendships. And I love each and every one of them, and through all my struggles in the past 2 years, I can’t believe they stuck by me and we are here at the other end. I guess that’s why I feel heartbroken, like the love of my life is moving to Australia (sorry Ben), even though they are only at unis a few hours away!
We decided before everyone went away we were going to have a last supper (originally a BBQ but we decided that was too hard!). After a chilli disaster, resolved by a lovely man in Waitrose, it was a lovely but extremely emotional evening. The emotion came really towards then end of the evening, when we sat round, in candle light, in Livvy’s courtyard and gave each other notes. It was an idea me and Livvy had discussed doing ages ago after she heard some classes did it on their last lessons, so I drew on each of mine and wrote heart felt emosh-ness to all the girls. We passed the notes out, and at the time I didn’t really cry, maybe if I’d had something to drink I might have, but I didn’t which was weird because for a week I felt I would have had a breakdown. That was until I got home and I called Ben and told him I felt heartbroken without them… I cried then.
I’ve always been driven by my future, I have always had a plan because it kept me going through sixth form, and that always meant leaving there (not that I feel any emotion towards that place!) But the future is now, it had to happen, and it’s kind of a bit of a shock although I’ve been planning it for so long. Nothing really prepares you for the feeling of when you leave school, and everything you’ve planned and dreams starts, and it’s not just a ‘one day…’ anymore. It’s so scary, and I guess I never prepared myself for all my friend’s futures happening too. For 2 years I dreamt of things getting better, pursuing a passion, and now it’s here, I’ve already had one day at my new college!
So although this is a sad post, things are looking up because my plan (of world domination) has started. I’ve already kind of got a new group of friends who are funny and lovely and having a fresh start at education. Every heart heals after a while, and my friends are only a train ride away. It’s just hard I guess…
I’m not really sure how to end this post, I guess the point of it was to say, make the most of every minute, appreciate your friends and all you have. I guess it’s true what the adults say, ‘school is such a short part of your life’ and now I’ve finished I can say it’s completely true! For all my hate of school, it was worth it just to come out with the most awesome friends and memories I will forever cherish.
Until next time,
(A very soppy and over tired)